I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize