why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
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