Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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