she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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