Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize