that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
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