No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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