Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize