Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
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