If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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