We need to rekindle our bromance
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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