Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize