gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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