hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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