I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize