the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
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Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
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You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize