I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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