its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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