His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
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