It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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