if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize