Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize