fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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