ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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