my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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