i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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