walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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