She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
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