someone owes me an orgasm
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Randomize