New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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