i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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