Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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