so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize