i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
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i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
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Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize