And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
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walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
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For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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