Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize