its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize