like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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