we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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