I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize