Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
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We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
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I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
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