There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
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Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
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He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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