So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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