I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
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Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
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Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
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