Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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