The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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