Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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