I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Randomize