He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
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