Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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