HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
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